Duality is Ugly and Violent
The practice of mettā has inadvertently fostered a non-dual view of existence. My world has become so much more unified and pleasant to live in. I suppose the intention of sending good thoughts to all living beings has been to promote non-dual awareness.
Now my sensitivity to the dualistic view has increased. I no longer tolerate it. I find it to be very painful and uncomfortable to experience. As proof, the other day, while walking through my hometown, I accidentally and forcefully named and isolated one person from the rest of existence. I created an artificial boundary between "him" and the rest of existence. This split and sharp line of division immediately created a very uncomfortable feeling in my body. I couldn't tolerate it. I have immediately let go of the words that created the division in my world, and the mental tension diminished.
Non-dual awareness is so much more real than the divided, sliced, conceptualized view of duality. I used to see trees in isolation from the rest of the forest. Actually, I could never conceive the forest as a whole; only as a collection of individual trees. Now I see the forest as one thing. It is not sliced up into objectified, conceptualized, individual trees. It is a unity of beautiful greenery, much easier to watch.
I used to see the road as categorically divided into straights and curves, left and right sides, and, of course, different from nature in which the road has been built. One day, this mental layer, which sliced up reality into concepts and categories dissapeared. I could see no difference between the road and nature. The road didn't stand out as a separate object. It was all one nature.
When this mental processing of diving reality into concepts and categories stops, we feel a mental and emotional relief. A lot of mental tension leaves our minds, and it becomes easier and better to live life.
What else can I say other than I wish others also experience the non-dual awareness. My path to non-dual awareness was through mettā chanting