Meditation in a Small Village
This is my little journal that I wrote while visiting my grandma. She lives in a small village of Nakovo, located on the border between Serbia and Romania. The village is peaceful and quiet—perfect for meditation and contemplation.
22.10.2025
My mother and me were travelling by bus, for at least 6 hours, to finally reach Beograd. A big city indeed. There we waited on a cold wind for a second bus, that was about to transport us to our final destination. On our way up to Nakovo, I saw enrmous fields, spanning across in all directions as far as eye can see. Everything was flat and the land was cultivated. The scene was very beautiful.
We finally reached the house of my grandma. An old German village house with gardens all around. She lives alone and she's quite old—90 years. I entered the house and she greated me. A warm hug from both of us. We've spent the rest of the day in conversation.
The next day I woke up at 2 am. I immediately resumed my mettā chanting. The energy of the room was dark and dense, not permitting me to enter meditation. After an hour of slow but persistent chanting, the energy became conductive for meditation. I started experiencing energy movements in third chakra and later on, the joy of meditation. Finally I was able to go inside and meditate somewhat.
I've sent good wishes to my close family members, grandma, other relatives and Jesus Christ.
23.10.2025
I've had good dream of my spiritual teacher Dev Bhagavān. It was a mixed dream but his presence was felt.
I woke up nicely but with pain in my back. It was 3 am and everything was silent. In began my mettā chanting. The atmosphere became spiritual. I felt a release of tension iny lips—they started to be pleasurable.
25.10.2025
I feel releases of tension in my body. It's really a good thing to do mettā every early morning. These couple of hours are dedicated to spiritual progress.
This morning I woke up with a view of just how people have waisted their opportunities for self-realization. It's so sad to see them insane and lost in this world. The illusion of a nice act and pretention was being dropped somewhat and I could see the sad reality. One of these days I will loose so much illusion that I won't be able to play the game of pretension in a mad society that we live in.
Every morning I play Thelonious Monk on my cellphone to fill up the space with good sound. I like his music more than Miles'. It has more soul, more heart.
Two days ago I was sitting with my mother and her friend; internally I was chanting the Hare Krishna mantra. They started to appear ugly and I was slowly turning into a good hearted guy. Then I switched to mettā mantra and compared the experiences. In mettā chanting, I couldn't perceive their ugliness but I saw them differently. I saw them in a more raw way, more completely I guess. I was positively oriented towards them. The experience of approaching non-duality via mettā mantra is better in comparison with the experience of duality.
26.10.2025
It's morning. A rooster crows. I've just finished chanting mettā and am waiting for the coffee to cool down a bit. Mom and grandma are sleeping. Everything is quiet. I'll drink my coffee and continue chanting.
It's amazing to see how small shifts in consciousness contribute to an overall change in consciousness. I mean the cessation of identification with the material body. You get a little deeper insight into that reality and think that's it. But as the mantra progresses in consciousness, insights continue to come. We'll see how things will turn out. I suppose that one day, unplanned, I will stop identifying with the material body. It's hard to imagine what that will look like, but I know that, in communication with other people who are materially identified, I will pretend to consider myself the body.
I see how intolerance towards different people is slowly disappearing. I catch myself being hostile towards others and stop there. The goal is friendship and understanding of all kinds of people, including those who make mistakes. This means that the influence of the mind weakens and the friendly heart comes to the fore.
27.10.2025
What a powerful and beautiful day! Hours of mettā and good purification of the mind and heart. I feel like I've discovered an ancient formula for improving the everall quality of life. Everything I need is withing this mind/body complex. Every time I do something ignorance, I feel an low quality feeling in my brain; a disharmonous flow of energy. Every thought has an effect on our brain waves. Pure thoughts bring about harmony and joy in one's self.
I instinctively follow this path of mettā. I go deeper into unknown teritory, accepting personal changes that come along. Old options disappear, new ones come. My old way of life and being is being sacrificed on the altar of mettā for a new way of being and looking at the world. I have confidence in the process, knowing that Buddha followed the same path in his life.
My final goal? On the paper it says Nibbāna. I remain open; my end lies far ahead of me in emptiness. Speaking of which, the darkness when I close my eyes has became deeper and more still. It's scary too. I no longer watch the sparkling lights on my eyelids. My darkness is more black, more spiritual, more deep.